should my penis look like a turkey
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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