i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
