We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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