Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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