Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
