we're blogging at a bar
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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