Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
