started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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