By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
