Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
