come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
