problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Do vagina's smell?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
