The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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