i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize