I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
