Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
