Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
