So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
