i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
