Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
