After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
