so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I love how my cats smell like pot.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
