I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
