i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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