So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
