im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
