brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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