I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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