remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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