he was CRYING into my vagina
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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