So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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