remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
