Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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