is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
