I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
