wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
