Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
