I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
