I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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