Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
