so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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