My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
These tits shall not be calmed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How naked do you want me to be?
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