Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This is classic penis vs brain.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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