too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
