dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
