I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
