U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
