You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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