i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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