I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
