Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
