It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
