summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
